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Notice Board

EU customers (excluding Denmark and Finland)
1. All purchases are VAT free, sales tax is no longer charged on goods exported from the UK.
2. The VAT equivalent where the customer lives (USt in Germany, TVA in France, IVA in Spain, etc) is then charged by the courier prior to delivery. The courier will usually add a charge for handling this process and for customs clearances. Please note that customs clearance charges are controlled by the destination country and varies between EU countries. We highly recommend that you investigate these charges before ordering. We do not have any control over any of these additional charges.
3. There are no additional duties payable on goods supplied between the UK and EU.

Customers from Denmark and Finland
VAT will continue to be charged at your local rate by us at the point of ordering.

THE VAT WILL BE REMOVED AT THE PAYMENT STAGE FOR OUR OVERSEAS CUSTOMERS, THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED BUSINESS.

New Instagram page search- softbitsshop

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22/1/21

Mohair & Carbon Vinyl full hood bags now available

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NEW PRODUCT - Mini tunnel pockets

COVID 19 - Update

Softbits are open for business


 

NEW Storm Cap to fit
Caterham Motorsport cars
 Now available...

 
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New Elise videos added...

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Our latest upgrades

  • Carbon Vinyl & Mohair doors now available
  • Improvement to Caterham Tonneau Weather proofing
  • New net tunnel pocket (carbon vinyl)
  • Easy In zips now available for Westfields
  • Improvement to Easy in Weather proofing 
  • New Academy Category
  • New SLR Set
  • Silver reflectors revival for the Half Hoods (option added)
  • Added Nets pockets Draft Reducers
  • New Badges
  • Net pocket on Touring Tunnel Bag


Lots of Swearing!!!

Haynes Manual Terminology Translated into Common English
Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with a hammer.
Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start. Now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.
Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...
Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40.
Haynes: Retain small spring...
Translation: PINGGGG - "Jesus, where the hell did that go?"
Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part.
Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it.
Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken, it's about to be. We warned.
Haynes: One spanner rating.
Translation: An infant could do this... so how did you manage to **** it up?
Haynes: Two spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, teensy weensy number... but you also thought the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).
Haynes: Three spanner rating.
Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days.
Haynes: Four spanner rating.
Translation: You're not seriously considering this are you?
Haynes: Five spanner rating.
Translation: OK - but don't ever carry your loved ones in it again.
Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on it, throw it at the garage wall, then find some molegrips and a hammer...
Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"
Haynes: Carefully...
Translation: You are about to suffer deep abrasions.
Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.
Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.
Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark plugs removed.
Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking pit of your stomach feeling has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs.
Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: Yeah, right. But you swear in different places.
Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...
Haynes: Using a suitable drift...
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: RAC Card & Mobile Phone
Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Alternatively, clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: Index
Translation: List of all the things in the book, bar what you need to do.

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